Don't underestimate the power and influence a father has on his child(ren). We all hear of the tragedy in today's society regarding absent fathers. It is truly one of the most terrible stories I can imagine. I had a nice talk with my best friend recently about the influence a mom and dad have on their children.
A boy, in particular, will learn what a real man is and will determine if he wants to also be a "real man" when he grows up based on what he sees or does not see from his father.
I am not together with my son's mom. I do truly feel that I that I am a "real man" model for my six-year old son. He hears from my lips and sees in my actions every time we are together, examples of how to be a "real man".
I talk about loving his mother. She doesn't really understand this real love, and would be very upset, I am certain, if she knew that I was telling our son that I loved his mommy. However, I really believe one of the greatest gifts I can give my son, is to show him that I do love his mom. I don't understand her and I don't agree with the way she treats him, but as far as he knows, I love her.
I talk about loving Jesus. Jesus and God the Father are my role models along with my dad of what a "real man" should be.
I teach my son how to be a leader and how to think independently. I teach him how to work hard for what he wants. I give him freedom to succeed as well as fail, and he knows I am always there to support and teach him.
Today, he left school early feeling ill. The school called his mom, who left her job to pick him up, take him home, and take care of him. As this was a day I was to spend with my son after school, she called to inform me that he was not feeling good, and wanted to stay at her house to rest. I said that was fine, and to have him call me so we could talk after he rested. I received a call at 1:30, and I expected it would be my son. Instead it was his mom, telling me that he had changed his mind and wanted me to pick him up.
When I arrived, he was very, very clingy to his mom. There have been just a couple times in his life that I have seen him that way. He would look at me and smile, but clung tightly to his mommy. He kept telling her that he was going to miss her. Really weird behavior. She walked him out to my car. He climbed in and I buckled him in. As we prepared to pull away, I rolled down his window so he could say goodbye. We pulled away, and instantly, I mean instantly his demeanor changed. My first words to him were to ask him how he was feeling. He said, "I am great now". He was non-stop from that point on until his mom picked him up a couple hours later. When she picked him up 5 p.m., he was just at lively...a complete 180 degree turn from when she last saw him. How did that happen. I was dad, and he knew and felt the comfort, love and support, and responded immediately after leaving his mom.
Wow, this really brought home what my touch and my presence mean to my son. I knew it already, as this was exactly what my friend and I were talking about just a few days earlier. I am certain he will grow up to be a "real man".
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