Friday, June 30, 2006

July 1- Gospel Mt 8:5-17

When Jesus entered Capernaum,a centurion approached him and appealed to him, saying,“Lord, my servant is lying at home paralyzed, suffering dreadfully.” He said to him, “I will come and cure him.”The centurion said in reply,“Lord, I am not worthy to have you enter under my roof;only say the word and my servant will be healed.For I too am a man subject to authority,with soldiers subject to me.And I say to one, ‘Go,’ and he goes;and to another, ‘Come here,’ and he comes;and to my slave, ‘Do this,’ and he does it.”When Jesus heard this, he was amazed and said to those following him,“Amen, I say to you, in no one in Israel have I found such faith.I say to you, many will come from the east and the west,and will recline with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacobat the banquet in the Kingdom of heaven,but the children of the Kingdomwill be driven out into the outer darkness,where there will be wailing and grinding of teeth.”And Jesus said to the centurion,“You may go; as you have believed, let it be done for you.”And at that very hour his servant was healed.Jesus entered the house of Peter,and saw his mother-in-law lying in bed with a fever.He touched her hand, the fever left her,and she rose and waited on him. When it was evening, they brought him manywho were possessed by demons,and he drove out the spirits by a word and cured all the sick,to fulfill what had been said by Isaiah the prophet:He took away our infirmities and bore our diseases.

Searching for God's Will

Scott has been busy seeking the answers that God will provide on the direction of life. Just a couple weeks after his marriage proposal was shot down, things have been a little disappointing, however...with faith...Not the end of the the world by any stretch of the imagination.

There is a master plan for everyone, it is just a matter of knowing how and when to listen to the "planner". I sent for a CD set by Rosalin Moss about understanding God's will yesterday., the owner of the hotel I manage wanted to get together for lunch to catch up on my life. I began talking about Christopher, my nearly 4 year old son. I told about how I met and fell in love with Christopher's mother nearly 10 years ago. The first time I saw her beautiful green eyes, I was truly messmerized. We spent a long time building a friendship with each other and our two families. A really strong friendship was formed. Five years ago this coming September (shortly after 9-11), I began dating a gal, since it appeared that friendship, although very strong, was the pinnacle of my current relationship with Christopher's mom. When she found out that I was dating, she was hugely disappointed and hurt. She approached me to "talk". We spent several hours talking. She said she did really love me, and did not want to lose me. She wanted to give building our friendship into the next level a shot. I most certainly wanted the same with this most wonderful, beautiful, caring person I knew. We began spending time together again, leading up to a great get-away to Napa Valley and Sonoma in November 2001. Shortly after that, and one day before a planned mini-vacation to Disneyland with her, her parents, and her sister's family...she told me that I was going to be a DAD!

What a great day...and a start of a great chapter in my our lives.

She told me..."Whatever you do, don't ask me to marry you when we are in Disneyland". So, I didn't. Looking back, I am certain that she took that as a "false" signal that I was not truly committed to being with her. Not true at all....I was just giving in to her wish. From a point in January 2002 on, she was never the same towards' me. She did not want me in her life, or our soon-to be child's life. You hear stories all the time about dead-beat dads, leaving their children and their children's mother. And here I was wanting to make sure she knew that I wanted to and would be in her life and the life our our child in every way possible. Truly a dream come true. I know we were not married, and crossed that line pre-maturely, but I really loved her...still do!

After taking her to court and going through mediation to get "reasonable" parenting time with Christopher, things have gotten better, but not to the point of us getting back together. I proposed marriage to her 3 weeks ago, feeling that although we were not together, and had not even talked about that possibility lately, that she would say yes to building a strong, loving, caring family for ourselves, Christopher, and other children we may be blessed to have. She said NO.

So, after telling my love story to my owner this afternoon, he told me that he felt that I should count my blessings that she said no. He said that just in the bit that I told him about her, and us, that she really sounds like she is somewhat self-centered, and would possibly suck all the giving I had to give, and not give anything back. This could also be very detrimental to Christopher. WOW...he was very perceptive, and told me that same thing my family, her family, and my friends have been telling me.

He apologized for prying into my life. I told him that I am quite sure that God arranged the whole lunch.

As I go on, I will continue to seek and hopefully listen to God's word and will.

Above all .... I will continue to pray that Christopher's mom will have a major conversion in her life...personally, and spiritually. I hope she soon will be inspired to seek out the truth of the Catholic Church for herself and for Christopher. No-matter what happens or does not happen between us, I will remain strong in my faith, and in my prayers for her and her salvation.